Lord help me and my family thur this one. Our 17 year old Sr. is going to have a baby in June. I'm having a very hard time going from the Mother who tells her daughter when to be home and where are you going and who are you with. To the Mother of a daughter that's going to have a baby of her of her own. First time grandparent (41) I feel like I'm lost on this one. It breaks my heart because she had so many big plans and like that all changed in a min. She is still going to colleage we are going to help out as much as we can. Just really lost on this one. I talked to her yesterday and verify that she wants me there all the way in delivery and I'm trying real hard to step back and let her and the father enjoy there time when it comes to the baby things. I really don't know what to do she is my baby and she is our world we have two other children 21 son and 14 yr daughter we are trying to do all of this as a family the 14 yr has going to 2 dr. appts with us and yes the father has made all but one appt. due to the fact they were taking blood and he does not do needles or blood well lol. He is a good kid I understand he is just a kid also but he is trying oh ya he is in the 11th grade. Marriage is out of the question for now they both agree to this Thank God. Any and all comments welcome on this matter. We are trying to do this right her father goes to the dr. appt if I can't make it and he always calls after the Dr. appts.

ps.

don't misundestand me and her father can't waite to be grandparents  will love this baby like crazy. Very excited about the birth of my grandchild.

Here is my story, I got pregnant at 16 and my parents didn't find out until I was 6 months. My mother was the first to notice because of of course my breast had gotten huge. Without even talking to me about the situation she packed me a bag and drove me to an abortion clinic. Thank God I didn't  have to go through with the procedure because the sonogram showed that I was 26 weeks,(at this time I still wasn't showing). Again without talking to me she made the decision to put the baby up for adoption. She literally was treating me like a child, it was like she was saying do what I say and don't ask any questions I know what is best for you. When I had the baby the hospital staff made the mistake of leaving the baby with me instead of taking him right away so that I wouldn't bond with him.My mother and stepfather immediatly fell in love and of course so did I. To make a long story short I finished school on time while working a part time job and taking great care of my little boy with the help of my parents and stepdad. He is now 11 years old, my best friend, of course the greatest helper with his 3 month old little sister. Basically the #1 thing to do is to continue to give your love and support to your daughter.No matter the circumstances this is a blessing from God. As far as being in the delivery room she is going to want her mom there to hold her hand;as upset as I was with my mom  around pushing time I was crying for her. So stay close by. good luck, God Bless, and just think of yourself as one of the hottest grandmas on the block. My mom still thinks so and taught my son to call her MiMi instead of grandma.

Well, my story isn't bad or anything. But I got pregnant at 18[I'm 19 now], I had my daughter in Oct. My family was VERY supportive. They helpped with the shoppin, went to the appointments. Dealt with my hormones.

My main reason for responding. I wanna give you alil advice, I know, advice from a 19 year old. What do we know. But hear me out.

There will be days she hates herself, and the way she looks. Remind her of the beautiful baby she's carryin. Tell her about how you felt the first time you ever held her, or your son, and even you youngest. Tell her that she's still beautiful, and THAT IS THE TRUTH. Pregnancy is the most beautiful thing in the world. I know we women think we look like planets... But were one good looking planet... :D

No matter how dumb it sounds, get her her cravings. My bf and I got into a HUGE fight over a root beer float. I threw a screw driver at him[hints the hormones].

 Laugh at her short term memory, and when she drops something. Don't get mad. I don't remember a third of the stuff that happened while I was pregnant, I know it was funny because people tell me. And Im pretty sure my bf is still scares of me to this day.

Support the choices she makes while pregnant, remember it is HER baby, I know drinkin coffee, or eating alot of chips[or whatever shes does, or is going to do] may not be healthy. But to hell with healthy. Make her drink milk, and eat fruits atleast once a day.

When the hormones come. Count to ten, remember you love her. And just walk away. Cause god only knows that when the screaming stops, she will need you there to cry on your shoulder.

OH, and in the delivery room, make sure NO ONE ask her "are you ok? how do you feel? do you feel ok?" it will make her mad, and she will try to hurt someone.

If she gets the epurial, be the one in the room holding her hand, cause trust me, she will need a hand to hold. Actually I needed someone to hold me down, I'm horrified of needles, and I know that thing is like 9 in long.

When she's pushing, tell her shes doing great, not to give up. And that soon she will get to hold her bundle of joy.

And as for the bf, when they get into fights, disregard anything either of them say to each other. If my family took my side over everything I said about my bf while I was pregnant, he probably wouldn't be breathing.

Just be the great mom you've always been. Don't even change. Continue with the doctors appt.

I know becoming a grandma must be a scary thing. but its just as great as being a mom, I know this because I asked my mom how she felt. She said it was like holding her first baby all over again. A magic moment you can never forget.

I hope this helped. And I hope her the best of luck. I would tell you about my delivery but it would probably scare you and her both. So I will pass. Good luck, and god be with you, her and the baby.

Shawnna

I am 18 and just had a baby... I know I should have waited but it was something that happened. My mother and father wanted me to get an abortion but it's just something I couldn't possibly do. I refused and they kicked me out. I'm soooooo happy that you didnt force her to get an abortion. I know it must be hard to hear that news but things will get better. I dont know much bcuz im only 18 but I have already experienced what it feels like to hold your baby for the first time and I wouldn't change it for the world. I had him on the 7th of january and this has been the best 2 weeks of my life. His father is not involved because he chooses not to be and it will be hard and I will be at a loss of words when I have to tell my son what his father did when he asks about it! But he has enough love here and with other family and friends that he doesnt need all that heartbreak! and like I said I know it must be hard to cope with the news but once you see that baby for the first time all your bad feelings will go away. I had my grandma and my aunt in the room with me and to see my grandma cry when she held him made me go crazy. She was sceptical at first about the whole thing but now she loves him with all her heart. She is 59 and she is a great grandparent and im still going to school and college to become an RN. I know it will be hard but Im willing to work as hard as ever to support me and my son. I hope I was some help... I don't know much but I understand how you feel. 

I was and still am a teen mom.I had my son when I was 14 and it was hard.I had plans to to go to college and all that.The best you can do is help as much as you can.Thats all I wanted was to know that my parents would always be there for me.I will admit I dropped out of school but a month later got my GED and went to nursing school and got my CNA.Just because you have kids doesn't mean you can't do anything with yourself.It's harder but if I could do anyone can.All you an really do is support her and help her as much as you can.I'm 20 now and I have a 5 year old son who is so smart and does awesome in shool and I just had my second son November 20.I wish you all the best of luck and if she needs to talk to someone I'm here.

P.S. Me and the Dad are still together 7 years later and doing aweome.support support support!!!!!

Hi,

Well...I'm coming from the perspective of having been the teenage daughter. I became pregnant in September of my sophmore year of high school and delivered my soon just one month after turning 16. He is 21 years old now and a wonderful human being. We both survived (and dare I say, thrived) but help, support, and guidance from those close to me was critical. I had two boys before I was 20 years old. Not the easiest route but it can be done. I also attended college while parenting young children...went through our community college, then transferred to a four year state university where I received my bachelors degree. A few years after graduating, I went back to school and received my masters degree where my oldest son presented me with a beautiful bouquet of roses and told me that I was his hero because I had showed him anything is possible. I now work in the public school system as a school counselor and I find my life experiences more valuable than my formal education.

I think one of the hardest parts about being a parent is realizing that your children don't really belong to you. You spend all this time nurturing, lovng, protecting, and planning only to find out that they are their own beings with their unique journey to experience. It may not have been the life my mom and dad had planned for me but they tell me often how proud they are of who I am, what I've done with my life and how I have parented my children. Now parenting my own young adult/teenage children, I can intimatly relate to the frustrations, heartbreak, and anxiety that can be intwined in parenting at those stages. What really helped me was my own mom sharing her experiences parenting me at those points and the importance of letting go and recognizing its their journey to experience.

I wish all the very best for you and your family. I hope that your daughter is able to see that this decision doesn't mean a dead end (like so many will tell her) but instead just a diversion onto a road less travelled. Take care and God bless. 

WELL I'M 17...2 I GOT PREGNANT AT 16 JUST HAD MY DAUGHTER NOV.11...MY MOM FELT THE SAME WAY....THERES THING UR CHILD WILL HAVE 2 GO THREW ON HER ON...LIKE SHE HAS 2 LEARN FROM HER MISTAKES...SHE CAN STILL GO 2 SCHOOL THE 1ST 4 MONTHS I HAD BAD MORINING SICKNESS SO I WENT WHEN I COULD THE I WENT ALL THE TIME I WENT UP UNTIL THE WEEK B4 SHE WAS DUE IN ENDED UP HAVIN HER THE WEEK I LEFT L0L....BUT I WUZ READY 2 GET BAC IN SCHOOL JUST THE PROVE 2 PEOPLE I CAN MAKE IT..I'M BAC IN SCHOOL NOW.. ALSO IN THE 11TH GRADE I GET ALOT OF HELP FROM THE FATHER.....SO DONT GIVE UP U DIDN LOSE...UR CHILD MADE DERE MISTAKE SO THEY GOTTA LEARN LIKE I HAVE 2 NOW.....ALL U CAN REALLY DO IS BE DERE N HELP OUT...BUT THEY HAVE 2 RAISE THEY CHILD ON DERE ON WITH UR GUIDANCE....BUT I HOPED I HELP PLEASE LET ME KNO IF I DID

For me this situation sounds really familer..I am 17 and just had my son in November, and his father is 16 and yes a Jr in High School. The best thing my parents did was always help out and give loads of advice. Dont worry about being there for the whole thing my step mom was and it made it that much easier on me when I was in the hospital it eased my nervs soo much. Best of luck to your family and daughter and congrats!